Why Girl Scout Cookies are One of the Worst Cultural Traditions in the World.

America is well known as the “melting pot” of cultures. Sometimes it seems like America has no traditions of its own. There is a multitude of religious practices, hundreds of different ethnicities, and, especially few culinary traditions. Unfortunately, the most prominent time-honored American cuisine is doubtlessly a burger and fries. This is followed by a hotdog, and possibly an apple pie.

Compare these foods to the traditional foods of other countries. Eastern Europe can claim borscht, Japan has sushi and sashimi, Spain dominates paella, and South Africa adores bobotie. Many of these foods could be considered health foods by the McDonalds enthusiasts of America. Borscht is a vitamin packed soup made of beets. There is no store bought, pre-processed version of this soup. It is natural, healthy, and traditional. Tradition plays a huge role in the health of a culture. Every culture has developed its own cuisine that feeds the population efficiently and nutritionally. Every culture also has its special goodies, but none have such a variety of pre-processed foods as America.Take Girl Scout Cookies as an example. They are impossible to pass up, not only because they taste decent and give every eater a rush of nostalgia, but also because cute little girl scouts are selling them to earn money. Once obtained, girl scout cookies remain seemingly harmless. There are pictures of happy, healthy girl scouts playing on the boxes, and the adorable names they are given portray no sense of danger. Names like Tagalong and Samoa gives absolutly no indication of what the cookie actually consists of. Compare that to your average boxed cookie in a grocery store: names like "chocolate chunk," "vanilla wafer" and "double fudge" warn the buyer that the product is full of sugar and calories. The name Tagalong, on the other hand, gives the consumer a vision of salubrious children playing, not obesity, a more likely side effect.

You may be wondering exactly how Girl Scout cookies may affect your health. They're just cookies, right? Just like your grandma made them. Right? Absolutely not. Girl Scout cookies consist of three main ingredients: Hydrogenated oils, sugar or corn syrup, and finely processed bleached flour. Most have very little or no fiber or protein, and few vitamins and minerals. All have tons of additional additives, like preservatives, coloring, and flavor enhancers. The calories in a girl scout cookie are far more concentrated than those in a traditional homemade cookie. In just one ounce of Samoas (about two), there are 150 calories, whereas in an ounce of the average homemade chocolate chip cookie there are about 100. A typical human's insulin system will not be able to keep up with such intense amounts of glucose, which is the leading cause of type II diabetes. Furthermore, a recent Princeton study (http://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S26/91/22K07) found that rats fed a liquid consisting of high fructose corn syrup gained weight significantly more rapidly than those fed a caloric equivalent of sucrose, or table sugar.

Now consider this. Where did the argument that girl scout cookies are great for freezing come from? Girl Scout cookies have no expiration date and never stale, due to a large amount of preservatives. So why do we need to freeze them? Could it be that it is a huge marketing scam to get people to buy more cookies? For one thing, it makes people believe that they are eating real food that goes bad. For another thing, it gives people a reason to buy more cookies (Just fill your freezer! You can have them all year! You could have them all year without a freezer too. Or fill it with something else.) This is not to say that Girl Scouts are conniving little marketers with no conscience. Most little Brownies have just been told to sell cookies. And lots of them. The blame can only be put on the producers of the cookies, and the American people who demand that their cookies taste the same year after year.

Still want to support the Girl Scouts? Just make a donation, volunteer to lead or help a troop, or suggest a homemade bake sale.